Cock cakes are the most popular erotic dessert requests that bakeries get, mainly for bachelorette or hen parties. Here is a tutorial on how to make an edible penis cake topper using melted chocolate and modeling chocolate. You could certainly use fondant in place of modeling chocolate if that’s what you’d prefer. After watching the video, be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the page to see more photos of finished cakes topped with choco-willies including a variety of options for edible chocolate pubic hair garnish.
Anatomy of the Chocolate Cock
Most bakers make their schlong cakes in the shape of laying down peckers, but I invented a way to make a 3D standing dick cake decoration that is realistic-looking and not-too-difficult to sculpt. With a solid chocolate rod running up the middle for support plus clusters of candied nuts within the ball sac, this penis cake topper is not only fun to eat but it can be made in any size or color to fit on any shape cake.
Alternative Infrastructure Option
If you don’t have the time or desire to make a poured chocolate rod center, you could use a pretzel rod instead.
I guarantee that at least one person out of ten at a party will claim this kind of cake is “gross” or “inappropriate” but I also promise it will be worth the laughs and banter that it inspires in everyone else. Now if you can convince the guest of honor to bite down and chew on a chocolate chubby in lieu of blowing out candles, then you’ve truly taken the fornicake experience to the next level.
- Strip of acetate or parchment or wax paper (commission earned)
- Shot glass
- Melted chocolate
- Piping cone
- Modeling chocolate (whichever flesh color is needed)
- Cocoa powder
- Blush brush for dusting with cocoa powder
Forming the Chocolate Rod Center
1. Begin with a long strip of acetate (commission earned). For a life-size cock decoration, about 2 feet or 1/2 meter worth is about right. If you don’t have acetate, you can try using parchment or wax paper instead but the acetate is a little easier to tape shut. Pastry chefs use acetate for various things from making chocolate decorations to lining the inside of cake ring molds.
Twist the acetate into a tube that is about 9″ long and tape it shut.
2. Cut one end of the tube so that it’s level then tape the bottom 4 times so that’s it’s sealed shut.
3. Place the tube into a shot glass or small vessel and stuff the empty space with a napkin or towel to hold it upright.
4. Prepare a piping cone filled with melted dark chocolate. Cut a large hole in the tip and pipe the chocolate into the empty tube. Place the rod in the refrigerator. Allow it to harden before removing the acetate (commission earned).
Tips for Making Magnum Cock Toppers
If your schlong decoration is quite big or if you would prefer more support, wait until the chocolate is semi-firm then insert a popsicle or lollipop stick about 1-2 inches through the top of the rod. Note that the chocolate must be set enough that the stick stays in place when it’s pushed in.
Allow the rod to fully set with the stick in it. Once it’s hard, invert the rod so that the chocolate part is on top with the stick on the bottom. Push the stick into a shoebox with a slit cut in the top or into a brick of styrofoam so that it’s anchored down flat while it’s being decorated. Later, push it into the cake to anchor the topper. This step is not necessary but can be used for extra stability in case you want or need it.
Shaping the Modeling Chocolate Cock ‘Skin’
5. Mix dark and white modeling chocolate together to make the desired skin tone. Almost any skin tone can be achieved by mixing various proportions of dark and white modeling chocolate together. Set aside 1/3 of the modeling chocolate for the ball sac.
6. Flatten out 2/3rds of the modeling chocolate and wrap it around the chocolate rod. Press a finger along the seam to connect it. Rub the chocolate shaft between two palms and against a clean tabletop to smooth it out. It doesn’t have to be perfectly smooth, though, since the surface of the penis isn’t either. Stand it upright on top of a piece of parchment paper and press it down into the tabletop to flatten the base. Round the top part of the chocolate shaft with the palm of your hand and set it aside.
Filling the Testicles with Nuts
7. Take the remaining 1/3 of modeling chocolate and flatten it out into an oval shape. Fill it with two piles of candied nut clusters or any kind of toasted nut then fold the modeling chocolate over to encase the nuts. Smooth out the seams but leave the chocolate ball bags a little lumpy and irregular, just like a real scrotum sac.
Press the nut sac into the chocolate shaft. Once these two parts are fused, the shaft becomes much more stable.
I use these recipes and methods
Cake Decorating with Modeling Chocolate
To make a circumcised penis, make a small knob of modeling chocolate that’s slightly darker than the skin tone and fit it over the tip of the shaft so that there is a slight lift to it in the middle of the base (see the video).
Using a pointed sculpting implement, make a hole in the top of the shaft, then pinch it back together a little so that it looks more like a slit.
How to Make Edible Pubic Hair
Chocolate Sprinkles or Vermicelli
To make easy edible pubic hair, you can use chocolate sprinkles but I prefer vermicelli, which is made of finer bits of real chocolate. To apply the pubic hair to the chocolate cock, brush the base of its shaft with corn syrup or glucose syrup before sprinkling on the chocolate pubes. Then they’ll stick even if the shaft is pointed upright.
Piped Chocolate Pubes
This blow job cake with 3D cock (minus the chocolate rod center) was decorated with swirls of piped chocolate pubes.
Thick Curled Chocolate Pubes Using a Vegetable Peeler
To make thick curly pubes like the example seen above on the 3D sculpted ‘Best is Yet to Cum’ penis cake with piped chocolate inscription, heat a block of chocolate in a warm oven or microwave until it’s a little soft on the outside. Then shave off curls using a vegetable peeler.
Finely Curled Chocolate Pubes Using a Beveling Wood Carving Tool
For finer-looking pubes, a beveling wood carving tool yields the best results.
Chocolate Pubic Hair Tips for Success
The temperature of the chocolate must be just right for this edible pubic hair method to succeed. If the chocolate is too cold, the curls will shatter and come out looking like flakes. If the chocolate is too soft, the curls will go limp or turn into mush. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t get it right the first time. A block of chocolate can always be heated/cooled until you reach the optimum consistency for making curls. Although this may cause the chocolate to bloom, that’s okay. The pubes are not the most prominent feature of the cake.
I like to chill a sheet pan and line it with parchment paper before I begin carving the pubes. Then I shave the chocolate onto that cold surface, which helps the curls to set right away, preventing them from sticking to one another.
After I’ve finished shaving the chocolate pubic hairs, I place them into the refrigerator to set before sprinkling them onto the shaft of the penis. That way, I have more time to work before the chocolate melts from the heat of my hands.
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